Something I read today reminded me of a saying my grandpa used to say. ‘Course; he had a million saying he used to say. I think he made a lot of them up, but they always made sense and many of them have stuck with me from my youth and are brought to remembrance when the situation calls for it. Anyway, he used to tell me, “Boy, when the chips are down, you find out what’s up. He probably came up with that one at a pole game or something. It is a very true saying though.
When I was a young man just out on my own, I went through a stretch of 3 weeks where I lost my job, my car, my license, and my residence. I went from a young man with the world at his feet to a homeless bum who had the carpet pulled out from under him. It was a very difficult time to go through.
Up until that point, I had many friends and acquaintances and was a very popular fellow. Suddenly I went from being popular to being shunned. What had changed? I hadn’t changed, just some unfortunate occurrences and circumstances that had changed my surroundings. I was the same person.
It was during those difficult circumstances and the struggle to deal with those circumstances that I learned many things. I discovered that many of those friends were not really friends. I found out that people in general were very cruel. I learned that most people only cared about themselves and their own well being.
I also learned something else. I learned that there were a small number of people who were true friends (and not necessarily the ones I thought were friends.) I discovered that there were a small number of people who cared more about the well being of others than they did for their own. I realized that the most important things in life were not the possessions that we acquire or the status we reach.
It can be difficult to personally deal with loss and great setbacks. In some ways we may want to crawl under a rock somewhere and just be invisible. When this happened to me, I discovered something inside myself. A strength I had not known. A desire I had not yet found. A fire that had not been lit. I discovered many things about who I was. I doubt I would have learned those things so quickly had there not been something to shake it out of me.
Yes, hard times do befall us all in some manner during our lifetimes. But, when the chips are down, you find out what’s up.
2 comments:
Wow. Your friends deserted you? You're right...those aren't friends. When my boyfriend was married, he and his wife told a couple friend they were expecting a baby. The couple friend waited a week or two, then called and said, "We decided we don't want to be friends anymore. We prefer all of our friends to be childless." There are just some really shallow, self-serving people out there.
yes, people can be shallow. others can be tremendous though and it's hard times that often sort that out.
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