I Want to Hear from God

I want to hear from God.  Not that I don’t hear from God in some ways, but lately I REALLY want to HEAR from God.  I want something special.  I’d like to hear an audible voice, or some direct sign that He is near.  Is that wrong?  I mean, I know that it is a wicked and adulteress generation that seeketh after a sign; but, it’s not like I want a sign to prove he is there so much.  I believe God is there.  I’ve experienced his love, seen His power, had answers to prayers in the past.  I don’t doubt he could do it again.  Maybe it’s like; I just want a hug from him or something.


Maybe it is just that I have been feeling a little distant from Him.  I don’t have that warm fuzzy goin on.  I wonder sometimes if it is my sin that is keeping us separated.  It’s possible.  I’m not a perfect person.  Sometimes I think that perhaps it is national.  I mean, we as a nation have not been doing things that are pleasing to him and it could be that He is turning His back from us.  Is that it?  I know I don’t spend as much time in formal prayer as I should.  Maybe I need more time in the word?  I don’t know.


It’s not like he isn’t working in my life.  Others tell me how my writings seem inspired, or that my actions show a godly person.  I don’t really want the praise for if anything good comes out of me; it is the Lord and not I that do it.  Still, I just feel empty and alone sometimes.    I want some reassurance that I am on the right path.  I need to know I am loved.


Sometimes thoughts run through my head that concern me.  I worry if maybe I am doing something wrong and missing the boat.  I get concerned that maybe I have upset Him for some reason.   Don’t feel worthy at times.  Am I alone on this or do other Christians feel this way at times?  I’d just like to hear Him say, it’s ok son.  I know I could do better, or more.  
 

I know he is still there.  I know that He is still working on me and in my life.  I know His promises are good and sure.  Sometimes I can feel Him when I am studying or writing.  I know the Holy Spirit is working in me when verses pop into my head at appropriate times, or when I react rightly.  Still, I fall short though.  I fail.  It bothers me.  I want to hear those words, well done though good and faithful servant.  I’d just like to hear that I am on my way.  
 

Maybe it is just that my hunger and thirst for righteousness is rising.  I have a strong desire to do what is right.  I am yearning to seek His face.  I purpose to change those things that need to be fixed.  Maybe it is just the difficulty in wanting something so badly but yet having to wait for it that brings about those other feelings.  I want my mind to be continually renewed, my heart to be continually refreshed, my hunger filled, and my thirst quenched.  I desire to see more, do more, be more.  I want to hear from Him, directly. Is that ok?