I Am SOOOO MAD!!!

Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Boy, this is a hard saying.  Sometimes it just no longer lies within me to keep my peace.  tonight was one of those nights.  My nemesis thorn in the side for the last 9 years crossed the line.  I let them know in no uncertain terms that they had done so.  I asked the boss to intervene and asked that it go up the chain of command.  9 years and nothing has changed, nothing has been done. 

People have praised me for being able to put up with so much for so long, but there are limits.  We all have our limits.  Some days our fuses are a bit shorter than other days and it takes less to light those fuses, and they burn faster.  It was just the wrong day to try pulling passive aggressive stunts on me; the wrong day to swear at me and make false accusations in half under your breath but loud enough to hear tones. 

As I sit and look at these verses in Romans 12, it gets harder though.  What God is asking me to do in the word is beyond me at times.  it is not what I want to do.  It is not what I feel like doing.  I'd like to be able to go back behind the woodshed and open up a can of whoopass.  That is not what the word says to do.  Oh Lord help me in my weakness. 

This little segment of Romans 12 starts out with this admonition, 17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  When we get mad, we are not supposed to act like the world and try to do something to the other person in a sneaky or underhanded way.  No backbiting.  No lying in wait to set them up.  We must be honest in our dealings.  Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:


We go past our opening verse now to verse 19: Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.  Along with the part of not returning evil for evil, we should not avenge ourselves.  Perhaps snapping back in anger was a bit of that, I'm not sure.  Telling the boss?  It is what we should do in the situation.  Taking it silently for so long is sometimes beyond me, so I must ask for God's spirit to infuse me the right things to do. 


Verse 20: 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  This verse parallels the word of Jesus when he said,  Matthew 5:44  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;  Oh, that is so hard and I try so hard to be like this. This kind of attitude can only come through the Spirit of God.  It does not lie within me to do so. 


This part about pray for them I am hit with in this situation.  This person has been my sworn enemy from almost my first day at the job and for reasons that have nothing to do with me.  In thier head I am somehow at fault for some percieved wrong years in the past that he cannot seem to let go of.  It strikes me at the moment that when we pray for people, especially our enemies, we begin to see them as Jesus sees them, a lost soul in need of a savior just as we were. 


verse 21 concludes: Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.  This is hard too, but we cannot let evil people and their ways get the better of us.  Being the humans we are, we can only appeal to the holy Spirit to empower us to not be overcome of evil.  It is also the Holy spirit that will reveal ways and empower us to to good to overcome the evil.


I don't wish any ill will toward this person, but I do pray they would just go away or change.  One or the other.  I suppose with Gods sense of humor, I would be the one through which this instrument of change should come about.  Things cannot remain as they are though.  I am at my limit of being able to live peacably with this person.  I've tried the doing good to them.  I'm tired and wanted to rant a bit and end up led into a lesson of how I should be acting in this situation.  Praise the Lord.